[July 21-Welcome to the Family]

Yesterday, the kids in my group accepted Jesus as their Savior!!! I can hardly describe how happy my heart is! Unfortunately though...for reasons I don't know, I wasn't there when it happened. I know! Of all times I had to miss, I missed the time my group became Christians!! What happened was that over the past few days I had been developing a cold. I decided to leave the group just before the morning lesson and rest. I went to one of the cleared out classrooms where we were keeping all of our supplies and curled up on the floor. There, I slept for a few hours. When I woke up I had a few sweatshirts draped over me. (such a nice yet probably unsanitary act of kindness) I got up and found Sarah, my team leader, to see what had happened since I had been asleep. She said, "Well....your whole group accepted Christ!" My mouth dropped. I was ecstatic and then suddenly disappointed that I wasn't there to witness it...however, the happiness still overshadowed the feeling that I missed out. I returned to my group a few minutes later. I looked for a change in them and to my surprise I saw it! It was subtle, but I could tell there was a softness about their eyes that wasn't there before. Their smiles seemed bigger and were displayed more freely. I knew as I looked at each of them that they had changed. The Lord had changed them.

Soon after I got there it was time for lunch, so we headed back to the school building to line up. My group member, Candice, came up to me and told me that they had all prayed for me, the kids included. I was delighted and thanked her. I did feel much better. Praise be to God! One boy named Kelvin, who until this point had been slightly distant, came up to me twice and asked me, "Amanda, how do you feel? How are you doing?" My heart surged with gladness as I told him how much better I was feeling.

I went to lunch yesterday on top of the world. Even now, I smile and think, "Look! Look what the Lord has done!!" But that wasn't even all that happened! Later that afternoon we asked the group how they knew that God loved them. A boy named Smack said, "I know God loves me because he sent you to tell me about how Jesus died to save me." Katie, Candice, and I just looked at each other in amazement. They get it. I'm blown away.

I most wish now that everyone from home could see these kids. I wish they could see their excitement to learn how to pray...could see how Kelvin, who tries to be so cool, will break out into a beautiful full grin when you smile at him,...or how the girls' faces light up when you encourage them as they learn their memory verses. I wish you all could hear their stories of struggling...how some don't have enough food, how some suffer from malaria, and how others have dealt with losing a mother or father. It's heart breaking. By the time we leave for the day though, we have sung countless songs about how good God is, "OH HE'S SO GOOD!", about how God's love is so powerful and wonderful that it overwhelms us, and about how there is no one, there's no one like Jesus!

My heart rejoices. I don't want to leave.

[July 20]

I trust in my Father's power. I trust in His great and mighty love. Today I am asking God that He would speak clearly through Candice, Katie, and myself. I can see how these kids need the Lord. They need hope. They need love. I pray that I would be used to show them God's love, and not just my own. I pray that the three of us would work to be a united team as the trinity presents one powerful, united front. Use us Lord!!

[July 19]

I have so many thoughts on my mind today. I am here to teach a group of 14 year olds about Jesus. Upon meeting them the other day, they seemed quite similar to American teenagers: quiet and stand off-ish. Awesome. Slightly intimidating. I wonder so many things about them and about their lives. I have many hopes for their future. I ask God, "Father, what name will these kids call you? Will they call you Abba Father, Savior, my Hope?" I pray pray pray that they do. I pray that their hearts are opened and the great love of Jesus will be revealed to them.

In Hosea it says...

I will call them 'my people' who are not my people; and I will call her 'my loved one' who is not my loved one.

I pray that the God of the universe, the God of the fatherless will bring these kids into His arms and invite them into His family. I pray that I can be used to show them compassion and love.

[July 17-Dancing]

It's really cold this morning and two of the girls in my MAG are sick. I'm praying a lot for healing. With the amount of training that we are doing, being sick makes your days down right difficult.

Last night I danced and praised Jesus with the little kids at the orphanage. Just thinking about it brings a great smile to my face. It was one of the greatest things I think I've ever done. It really made me see how my heart has been out of worship. In that moment I felt it come back. Whatever seemed to be keeping me from really worshipping melted away. The children's voices encouraged me, and set my heart free to WORSHIP and praise the glorious God I serve!

Psalm 147:10-11 is speaking wonders to me today.

His pleasure is not in the strength of the horse, nor his delight in the legs of a man; the Lord delights in those who fear him, who put their hope in his unfailing love.

My works or "good" deeds don't please God. How could they? The best I could ever do is like filthiness in comparison to His pure and wonderful holiness. I'm so thankful today to be reminded that my strength, stamina, and good deeds are not going to be measured or judged. My faith and trust in Him is what pleases Him! That's a huge weight lifted!

[July 16]

Today, I have been humbled again. I am quickly realizing how I am trying to do things on my own and not with the help of God. I am becoming frustrated with the seemingly endless VBS training and a group member who feels like we are over preparing and wants to wing everything. I'm acting out of my own strength and failing. I pray that I would start acting out from the Lord's Spirit, keeping my focus on Him.

Psalm 145:8

The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love.

[July 15-Training]

Yesterday was a L-O-N-G day. After hours and hours of VBS training, my positive attitude turned negative. I was tired and worn out. Thankfully, God had everything planned! He gave me rest and an outlet to just sit and chill for a couple hours. Sarah, my team leader, invited the MA's (missionary advisors) to her tent to make journals. We decorated them with neat paper and stickers she had brought. It was nice to talk to people my own age for a change! (or at least people who I'm not in charge of) Then, last night we had "MAG time" where we got to sit in our tents and just hang out with our group. Sarah peeked in when we had just claimed we were having "crush-aholics anonymous". hehe She came in and joined as we talked about boys and past experiences. It was a blessing to see the girls' hearts and learn more about them.

Today in training I learned a little saying: "North Americans wear the watches, Zambians have the time." I totally believe this as all the adults and kids just want to talk and get to know us. It's a wonderful difference than how things are in the US. I also learned how you say good morning and good afternoon(which is used as any other time other than the morning).

Pronounced like:

-Mocha-bwan-gee! (Good morning! How are you?)

-Bwee-no! (I am well!)

-Moo-lee-bwan-gee (Good morning! How are you?)

-Bwee-no! (I am well!)

I also learned how to talk about God to the Zambian people in a way that they can best relate. Apparently, in western culture, we view things as being right or wrong. In Asia, things are viewed as bringing honor or shame. Here in Africa, it's about fear or power. Our teaching is going to be told in such a way that shows how God has power over fear. Cool, eh? I thought so anyway.

Other little tidbits that I wrote down from our sessions was:

- Give children what they need, not what they want. Although we may want to give them our shoes or extra shirts, our main purpose is to offer them what they need, which is Jesus.

- Let people see that you have been with Jesus.

- God wants to use you and speak to you more than you want.

[July 14-This is Africa.]

Today is our first full day in Africa. I woke up at 4:30 this morning to the beautiful sound ow women singing in the distance. They were praising the Lord, singing hallelujah over and over again! It was one of the most amazing things I've ever heard. What was even greater was that these women, or "mamas" as they are called, made and served us our breakfast this morning. I want a heart like theirs, the heart of a servant.

I'm learning today how worthy God is of praise. I'm also learning how unworthy I am to even serve Him or to bear his name! So often my actions don't reflect the love, grace, patience, or compassion that wonderfully show God's character. My own sin and selfishness gets in the way. Yet somehow, and thankfully the Lord still calls me Beloved.

Physically, I sit in this new place today, listening to the children I will later meet laugh and play. Figuratively, I am sitting at the feet of my God in complete awe of who He is and what He has done. Praise be to God!

[July 13]

I am so thankful for friendship and for the new community I have been blessed with!! I really cannot stop thanking God! He has given me such beautiful fellowship, and surrounded me with hearts that deeply desire to know Him. I am blessed.

Along the sides of the plane are small windows. The pilot asked if we could close the shades to conserve energy. So, here I sit in darkness...all the lights turned out except the no smoking and bathroom symbols. A moment ago someone opened their window ever so slightly and half the cabin was flooded with light! It's bright and sunny outside but I would not have known because no one had lifted their shades since take off many hours ago. This made me think of how things were before coming on this trip. Before, I felt very separated from those I cared for most. A few weeks before I left to go to training in Texas I told a boy who I had been considering dating that I didn't want to date him. I won't go into the details, but his response was to draw back and not talk to me. I understood why he wouldn't want to hang out anymore since I didn't want to date him, but I was caught off guard by the extent to which he disappeared from my life. It hurt a lot to feel that I had lost a friend and someone I deeply cared about so abruptly. Also during this pre-Zambia time other friendships fell to the waste side as they got busy with jobs, relationships, etc. I found myself feeling alone, with no friend to talk to other than my mom. One day I did manage to talk to my roommate from school via Skype. She told me that this "loss" I was feeling could be a blessing. I agree with her now. This separation from those I cared for has prepared me to be open to the relationships I'm making now. I'll be in Africa later today and I won't be missing anyone. I'm thankful I don't have that distraction pulling my mind and heart away from the new relationships I've made and will continue to make. I'm thankful I see the light from the open window. I'm thankful to see the light in what I once thought to be a dark room.

[July 12]

We are on our way to Zambia now! Finally!! I'm reading through Isaiah and meditating on what the Lord points out to me.

Isaiah 50:4

The Sovereign Lord has given me an instructed tongue, to know the word that sustains the weary. He wakens me morning by morning, wakens my ear to listen like one being taught.

Isaiah 55:10-11

As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater; so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

My God has given me an instructed tongue, to go and tell people about Him and His great love. Today I pray for boldness and confidence that God will speak through me. His words have power. His words can save. I pray that I am pushed out of my comfort zone, and that my faith will be increased. I pray that He will work through me in situations where my inadequacies are apparent. I pray God will use me to touch people and shower them with love as He has so beautifully done for me. I am here. I stand ready and eager to be used.

[July 10]

Galatians 6: 9-10

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.

Father give me strength to carry through this day. Help me to push through and love the people on my team even when I get tired. Bind our group together. Shower us with your love so we can then overflow onto each other.

Today I got a group of missionaries, aka MAG (missionary advisor group). It is such a blessing to really get to know these girls. It is a constant reminder that I can't do this with my own power. I need the Lord!!