[The Honest Truth]

I've been wanting to write on here for the past week or so, but I've been lazy and at a lack for words. My initial intent of this blog was to share with you how God is working in me through this whole support raising process. Well, here I am, arms out, giving you a picture of it.

There are some days that are really encouraging. I've had moments where I have been moved to tears out of people's support for me. There have been times when I feel the Lord saying, "I will take care of my children" and being so comforted by that. But then...there are days that are just quiet. There are times when I think I'm the only one who believes this is worth supporting (although I know that's not true). I look at my little pack of stamps and think, "I don't know of anyone else to send support letters to." I wonder...on these quiet days...Did the people I sent the other letters to not get them? Did the letters get lost in the mail? Or are they just not responding? It's ok if they don't support me financially, but wouldn't they tell me they are praying for me?

My mind hops from one question to the next in a circulating web. With each one, my brow furrows more as I get tangled and stuck further with worry. But then....then a still silence comes. My head drops and I think, "Lord, what have I gotten into?" My eyes close. Today, I pray with deep concern, "Father, I know your thoughts are far above my thoughts. I guess our ideas of "success" look different too. But God I believe it's Your will for me to go to Zambia and serve. So please, on days like this, draw my attention away from the numbers of what I have and what I don't. Set my gaze on your promises. Set my gaze...on You."

[Support]

I need the support of my family and friends in order to do this.

Just out of curiosity I looked up the definition of "support" before writing this post. According to the wee little dictionary on my computer, the word support means: to give assistance to, esp. financially, to enable to function or act, to provide with a home and the necessities of life, to give comfort and emotional help to, to approve of and encourage, and to be actively interested in and concerned for the success of something. That's what I'm asking you to do. I'm asking you to support me and walk alongside me during this process and mission. During this time I really do need your comfort and encouragement! I need your approval and your interest in this. And as difficult as it is for me to say, I also need your financial support in order for this to happen.

The trip costs approximately $4,622. My first reaction to that was "wow". I know that is a lot of money, but it includes transportation, airfare, food, training etc. I'm praying that when I look at that number now I will think "Wow, this is going to be an awesome growing experience between the Lord and me!" Because sure enough...it's going to be!! Each day I'm having to trust Him more and more with the unknown. Thankfully, in doing so I'm becoming more comfortable giving up trying to do all this fundraising on my own and depending on Him. It's hard for me to let God handle all of this and trust in His sovereignty, but when I do...it's one of the most beautiful things.

Over the past couple days I've been blown away at how the Lord has provided. I picked up the first shipment of t-shirts this weekend. I talked to the guy who made them about hopefully having enough to get another "batch" made. I honestly thought, "I've put it up as my status on Facebook so many times. No one else is going to want to buy one." Well, I've learned how much I doubt God's provision because over the past 2 days I've gotten 20 more t-shirt orders. I'm completely blown away. I'm amazed, excited, and totally put in my place for ever doubting my God and His promise to provide for me. I'm also amazed at people's willingness to support me. A friend told me the other week, "I want to pay to help you tell kids about Jesus. And then wear a t-shirt about it." My eyes immediately welled up with joyful tears. Her support...and your support mean so much to me.

If you read this, I ask that you pray for me during this process. Pray that the Lord would work in me, teach me/correct me, and draw me closer to Himself. I also ask that you please pray for the children I hope to serve. Pray that the Lord would work to heal their wounds, to bring joy and love into their lives, and that He would reveal Himself to their hearts so that they would know [true hope].

THANK YOU for your prayers, your encouragement, and your money that are making this possible. I am very much humbled and grateful for it all.

[The Story]

Last semester I began thinking about what I was going to do this summer. I really wanted to take advantage of this huge block of "free time" and use it to serve my brothers and sisters. So, one day I began looking up organizations that had summer missions and asked many friends if they knew of any reputable ones. One friend highly recommended Global Expeditions. I went to their website http://www.globalexpeditions.com/ and looked at all the missions they offered. After narrowing down my search to the ones I was interested in, I kept coming back to the page on Zambia.

I loved the idea of being a mentor or an "older sister" to girls...especially because I have had such wonderful Godly women to look up to and guide me. While praying about which trip to apply to, my pastor at Eternal Church in Rock Hill gave a sermon about James 1:27 that calls us to help widows and orphans in their distress. While listening, the choice became clear and the mission became focused. I am to share Christ's love to orphans in Zambia! I am to listen to their stories, to show them they have not been forgotten, that they are valued by their King, and to share with them in the life of freedom that Christ has given us.