There are some days that are really encouraging. I've had moments where I have been moved to tears out of people's support for me. There have been times when I feel the Lord saying, "I will take care of my children" and being so comforted by that. But then...there are days that are just quiet. There are times when I think I'm the only one who believes this is worth supporting (although I know that's not true). I look at my little pack of stamps and think, "I don't know of anyone else to send support letters to." I wonder...on these quiet days...Did the people I sent the other letters to not get them? Did the letters get lost in the mail? Or are they just not responding? It's ok if they don't support me financially, but wouldn't they tell me they are praying for me?
My mind hops from one question to the next in a circulating web. With each one, my brow furrows more as I get tangled and stuck further with worry. But then....then a still silence comes. My head drops and I think, "Lord, what have I gotten into?" My eyes close. Today, I pray with deep concern, "Father, I know your thoughts are far above my thoughts. I guess our ideas of "success" look different too. But God I believe it's Your will for me to go to Zambia and serve. So please, on days like this, draw my attention away from the numbers of what I have and what I don't. Set my gaze on your promises. Set my gaze...on You."
ME! send ME a letter! just know that you are very supported and God is using the times when you don't really feel it, to make you rely fully on his support... he's preparing you for your journey, for when you don't feel supported there by His people, He will nudge you and say, amanda dear, remember when I supported you? and you'll be like SHEESH! God has his hand all over this :) and he will provide.
ReplyDeletep.s. Jocie Ashworth
306 South B St.
Easley, SC 29640
Dear dear dear Amanda...
ReplyDeleteThere's always dry moments--desert moments when we feel the grit in our teeth. God teaches us so much in those crappy times, those times when we are SO thirsty and bored and lonely.
Sorry you feel them, and you do because we're broken, but He's there with you--asking you to lean on Him and look up for the manna he's provided.
Remember--the Egyptians (who had to eat the same daggone manna every flipping day) longed for their famous bakeries--they had over 35 different kinds of bread. But they learned that the Lord is enough.
Sorry for the sermon.
I love you.